Man Refuses to Google “Boxing Day,” Content With Mental Image of Glove-Clad Kangaroo

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Written by Luke Herzog, Chief Satirist

PACIFIC GROVE, CA一 An area man has stubbornly refused to enlighten himself after stumbling upon the words “Boxing Day” in tiny print under December 26. Immediately, he was flooded with images of glove-clad marsupials brawling in a boxing ring. “This… this is right,” he thought. “There can be no other explanation. Who needs Christmas when you can watch those kangaroos have at it?”