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Turkeys Drumstick, Wishbone Pardon President Donald Trump

Written by Luke Herzog, Chief Satirist

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WASHINGTON, D.C.一 Turkeys Drumstick and Wishbone, after days of careful deliberation, pardoned President Donald Trump of any high crimes or misdemeanors this Tuesday. “I think the Commander in Chief was a little confused about why we assembled here today,” declared Drumstick. “But from a fantastic turkey to one lame duck, you are hereby pardoned!” After the historic event, Wishbone gobbled to reporters, “I just got in on the pardon so I could avoid the slaughterhouse, guys. Don’t worry, this pardon has no legal authority. When the prez is booted out, how about electing me? I mean they do call it the West Wing.”

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Turkeys Drumstick, Wishbone Pardon President Donald Trump