New Study Shows: Average Student In Statistics Class Is Truly Mean


Written by Luke Herzog, Chief Satirist

PACIFIC GROVE, CA一Yes, the average stat student is mean. The shocking revelation gives us new insight into the Statistics class. “Mr. Rubin! Mr. Rubin! Are these allegations true?” shouted one intrepid journalist, cornering the math teacher as he cowered from his students behind a cut-out C-3PO. Mr. Rubin knitted his brow, his eyes glistening. “It all adds up now. Gosh, those kids are completely irrational. So many, it feels like they are multiplying. Clearly, there are many problems to work out. They’ve really done a number on me, and, in hindsight, I should kick them out after too many infractions. But… stop me. I’m going on a tangent…”