Urinal Bee Refuses To Go With The Flow

Written by Luke Herzog, Chief Satirist

PACIFIC GROVE, CA一A urinal bee lodged an official complaint yesterday against the school administration, citing a number of grievances regarding its work conditions. “It’s not that I didn’t know what I was signing up for,” the bee explained to Eggplant journalists following the incident. “I’m proud to say that I serve an integral role in the lives of high school students. Teachers urge them to aim for the stars, I make sure they know that’s just an idiom.” The bee began a petition, and a number of his peers have joined the movement, threatening to unionize or even go on strike. After a private meeting with the irate insects, Mr. Bell submitted to the bees’ requests. This morning, he made the announcement while sweating profusely, his face swollen and his body covered in welts. “Don’t worry,” he declared weakly. “Bee happy…”