Choir Preaches To Itself

Written by Luke Herzog, Chief Satirist

PACIFIC GROVE, CA一The Boulwares are making a change. Breaking from the status quo, they announced that they are tired of everyone preaching to them. So they’ve decided to take over the job themselves. This Saturday, sources found Michelle Boulware furiously belting vocal warm-ups, declaring, “From now on, we’re tacking on a three-hour sermon about good citizenship and character building to the end of each practice.”

Nodding solemnly, Sean Boulware then glided to the podium, delivering this speech to the group of singers: “We are the world. We are the children. We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let’s start giving. There’s a choice we’re making. We’re saving our own lives. It’s true we’ll make a better day, just you and me.” With no further comment, the pair sashayed out of the band room, humming a Disney tune in mezzo piano.