Mrs. Selfridge Caught Dotting I’s, Crossing T’s on Bathroom Stalls

Written by Luke Herzog, Chief Satirist

PACIFIC GROVE, CA一Sources confirm Mrs. Selfridge was sighted in a PGHS bathroom, gesticulating wildly with red grading pen in hand. Eyewitnesses suggest she was altering some alarming graffiti. “It’s not that I approve of the defacement. It’s just that, if you are going to vandalize, being grammatically correct should be one’s top priority.” She began scribbling frantically across several stall-wall inscriptions. “Look–look at this! Now this student clearly doesn’t know the difference between a predicate and a preposition… And–for the love of god–there is no ‘z’ in ‘loser!’”