Mr. Bell, Mrs. Hall Search For Elusive Miss Cafeteria To Complete Set

Written by Luke Herzog, Chief Satirist

PACIFIC GROVE, CA一Armed with binoculars and magnifying glasses, Principal Bell and English teacher Hall set out after school last Tuesday on a quest to find the mythical Miss Cafeteria. “It’s said she can sharpen a pencil with just her teeth…” whispered Bell, staring longingly into the distance. “Rumor has it she knows which kids have forgotten their homework by scent alone!” squealed Mrs. Hall. Returning empty-handed the following day, they told reporters they had not given up hope. Meanwhile, Mr. Multipurpose Room stated he couldn’t help but feel forgotten.